Fear

Any of you reading my blog for a while know I have a bunch of fears. Sometimes I control my fears but all too often, I let my fears control me. This coming summer when I face the biggest challenge of my life (at least that I have chosen to face) I will have to overcome many fears and will need to toughen up on many levels.

My biggest fears in life are

1) Serial Killers-this fear strikes me in ultras where I end up running alone in the dark extensively. Let me just say from experience reading the “Zodiac Killer” is not ideal pre-race reading.

I have no solution for this fear but considering I carry lots of lip balm, emergency poncho and salt/pepper maybe I can McGuyver something up if ever attacked. Actually I keep telling my husband Tristan that my pepper packets if I opened and tossed at someone is the poor/lazymans pepper spray.

2) Rattlesnakes-actually I fear all snakes but I am particularly worried about rattlesnakes. Maybe I have watched too much “Venom ER” and I have seen altogether too many rattlesnakes along trails. I just finished a book about the Grand Slam in which a paragraph talks about a rattlesnake crossing the course near an aid station. Yikes!!

I have no solution for this fear but I am thinking my “Pepper Spray” might come in handy.

3) Cougars-pumas, mountain lions, panthers are on my list because they are the same animal and if my cat roughs me up pretty badly at only 10 lbs I can only imagine what an animal 10X their size can do.

I have no solution for this but I think this is a job for my “Pepper Spray”

4) Falling-since gravity is a law, not a guidance falling is a big fear. I tend to be unstable on my feet and fall with moderate frequency.

I have no solution for falling but my previous strategy for runs in which falling is likely I tend to sit on my butt and work my way down (for big steps) and at times when courses are slippery I slam into tree’s or other immobile objects. This means after some races, I look like I have been in a WWF match (losing obviously) rather than a race.

5) Dirty Feet-I am fastidious about my feet in particular but actually hate being dirty at all. I may be in the wrong sport! I have been nearly in tears during a few races when the grim line to my foot is a dark brown and I have to touch all the dirt to get to my feet. Even worse is when this dirt has gotten through my gaiters, sneakers and socks and there are dirt gobs between my toes. Eww!!

I have no solution for avoiding dirt. Maybe I need to pick a new sport. I think I could really embrace ping pong except I think I might lack depth perception (although that might be why I fall a lot!).

6) Stream Crossings-my feet can get dirty, I could fall and I’ve seen a coral snake in a river in Florida and a rattlesnake along a river at Shenandoah Nat’l Park, so this is the triumvariate of my fears!

I have no solution for this fear. Even worse I just realized there are a bunch of stream crossings in Western States (and maybe Leadville & Wasatch 100 but please don’t burst this bubble quite yet if this is true, I can cross that river when I get to it). Speaking of my fear of stream crossings, I could pack a raft, a pair of galoshes or stilts, so I guess I do have a solution, although it probably is not optimal.

In all honesty and seriousness, I actually do get quite distressed at all of these issues. I try not to be paralyzed by them but there have been a few times where I nearly panic and have to repeat to myself “Go to your Happy Place” over and over. If anyone has suggestions I am happy to hear what you have done that has worked. Thanks!