Monday, June 29, 2009

You Shuffle Your Feet, You Lose Your Seat...

"You shuffle your feet, you lose your seat" is a favorite phrase we attribute to our oldest cat Zaboo.  This is because he invariable steals our seat when either one of us gets up from a chair or the couch.  He is a habitual offender.  We occasionally pay him back by stealing his seat when he gets up, but I just don't think he gets it.

Well, this phrase now applies to the entire critter family.  Last night Gilligan put himself to be about 6 p.m. (what is he a grandparent??) then Boo pretty quickly made a beeline for the bed and took up residence on Tristan's side of the bed (or should I say Boo's side of the bed?).  I am aware of the timing because I was upstairs working on cleaning clothing (I would suggest folding laundry but if you take a glance at Tristan's guest blogpost pictures you will observe that "folding" is probably too strong a word).

About 7:00 Puffy hops into bed and somehow jettisons Boo from the pillow (right as the first episode of the Simpsons came on).  Finally Sagwa climbs into bed about 8:30 (right as the second Simpsons was ending).  Boo also returns to the bed but elects to simply take my over my pillow.  I am tired and ready for bed.  But there is no place on the bed for me.  Unless I become rubberlady, I cannot contort myself around the various creatures.  

Because Sagwa is the sweetest and most likely to snuggle, I lift her up and take up a tiny handkerchief sized portion of the bed.  This works out okay until Gilligan starts backing up onto the small bit of real estate I had claimed for myself and Sagwa.  At some point overnight I move to the other side of the bed ("Tristan's" side) by displacing Boo.  I don't think this pleases him but I have thrown caution in the wind.  I pay the mortgage, utilities, for kibble (well okay, Tristan and I pay for these things but for effect I pretend it is just I), thus I deserve a portion of the bed.

Well, all this accomplishes is to have Puffie and Gilligan to double team me again by creeping over to my new side.  I feel slightly vindicated (but slightly bad) when about 2 a.m. Gilligan seems to fall off the side of the bed.  At this point I reposition myself and defend my turf for about 2 minutes.

Then I think to pay me back, Gilligan decides to hold fartfest 2009.  Seriously about every 10 minutes he would let one rip.  And they were stinky!!!  I feel he was trying to get me to cave but I sort of kept control of my side of the bed.  

I have my sister, a small van and lots of month long camping trips in this van with my mom and dad to thank for my ability to defend my turf.  My parents positioned our sleeping arrangement such that my head was on the wheel well and my sister was parallel to the back seat (after the seat, my parents had a raised platform complete with a mattress).  This means as we grew taller our feet started touching (about 8-10 years of age).  By the time we were 12 or 13 it was all out war over feet positioning.  If you showed any sign of weakness to my sister, you would have no feet room the entire night! 

I better get to bed or I will lose my coveted spot.  So far tonight I may be the first one heading upstairs (ha ha chumps!)


Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Way to wage war for us members of the supposedly "more evolved" species.

There's no shame in losing to a dog ... but a cat?1!? COME ON, sister!

Runner Tammy said...

Cats are wiley little critters and they expand when they lie down. And don't even get me started about how they can and do contort themselves to maximize the space they take up.

Anyway haven't you heard of "cat scratch fever"? It's not just a song anymore and my cats at least aren't afraid to remind me of this!

In our household it is all about CS threat level, not Meat Punches.