Friday, January 2, 2009

Life Lessons from Billy and Gilligan

Tonight is our first time without Billy in over 9 days.

It was sad to see him go because he is such a loving dog. He was really cute and so sweet to all in our household. I think Puffle misses him most because he was one of her numerous boyfriends. I think Boo is ambivalent and Sagwa might miss him a little because he would chase her now and again and I think she likes to play chase especially when she's "it". I am not sure how Gilligan feels but this is because he is hopped up on steriods and Benadryl. I know Tristan and I miss Billy because he was always ready for a hike or activity. And had such enthusiasm for these activities and life in general.

So here is some advice I think Billy would give everyone if he could talk.

Billy's Life Rules

1) Get a collar that has a cool phrase on it like: "Party Animal" then live out this philosophy with reckless abandon.
2) Run and gallop with passion, joy and enthusiasm. Others may laugh at your goofy antics but at least everyone is happy.
3) A crazy and wild fur-do ensures no one else takes you seriously, and most importantly ensures you do not take yourself too seriously!
4) When drinking ensure copius amounts of water get all over 90% of the surface area of the room you are in. If you can get water in other rooms you can earn extra points and "street cred" by other animals as sloppy as you.
5) Eat with Gusto. But, if after eating with too much gusto, I recommend a quick "reversal of fortune" (puking) can easily takes care of the problem and creates room for more food. The same is true for water. And your next trip to the food trough there might be new food or treats! And of course sometimes there are cat treats to be had (see Gilligan's rule #5)

These rules are pretty much direct opposites of what I percieve Gilligans philosophy to be. Below you can see Gilligan's advice for life:

Gilligan's Life Rules

1) If you have the opportunity to sleep or nap, take it. There is no such thing as too many naps or too much napping. In the course of history no one has ever died from excessive napping (seriously google it!)
2) Attention is the best. The only thing better then attention is lying down while getting attention. This can be accomplished by lying on peoples feet. This may hold people captive against their will, but while waiting for you to get up most will offer a token pet or two. And a pet is a pet!
3) If people will not give you attention freely force them to give it to you. Walk right up to them, head butt them and get your head under their hand. Trust me, they'll pet you!
4) When on a walk feel free to try to take a nap. This means stopping abruptly, lying down and rolling over. Do not under any circumstances get up immediately. When you do get up do so grudgingly to try to end your walk sooner so you can get back to napping.
5) Cats are good pets. Frequently cats walk around with little treats hanging off their butts. These treats are edible and the cats appreciate the assistance with their hanging dingle-berries! Dingle-berry...yum!

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